Having parents go through a divorce can be especially troubling for children. In order to lessen the impact divorce has on your children, you should make plans to talk with them about the impending separation as soon as possible-perhaps even before you go to visit a divorce lawyer.
If possible, both parties should speak to the children together and present a unified front. Reassure them that the separation is not their fault, and that both of you still love them just the same as you did before this decision was reached. Don’t speak badly about your spouse or blame him or her exclusively for the break-up. Instead, just let your children know that the two of you simply can’t get along, and that you have both decided that going your separate ways would be in everyone’s best interest.
Talking to your children ahead of time has another advantage in that you can ease some of their anxiety about where they will live and when they might visit with each parent. One of the biggest worries children have concerns how the divorce will impact their lives on a day-to-day basis. Having the answers to some of these questions ahead of time will help eliminate some of the fear associated with their uncertainty.
Keep the talk as positive as possible and give age-appropriate information. Younger children may not need as many details as older kids, and too much information could be overwhelming for some youngsters. If there is a huge age difference, you may need to take the older children aside separately after you’ve had the initial talk with the group.
After you’ve had this talk with your children, allow them to express their feelings to you. Don’t be surprised if they express anger at the idea of their parents splitting up. Avoid lashing back at them, but allow them to continue to vent as part of the healing process. Continuing to reassure them that they are loved and wanted could help reduce some of the bitterness and anger they’re experiencing.
Talking with your children about a possible divorce is never easy; however, talking with a divorce lawyer should be. Here at the Worcester Divorce Firm, we promise to provide you with compassionate, non-judgmental service so that you can get your life back on track while also preserving your rights. For an initial consultation, contact us today.
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